The Super Bowl was a snoozer, but I’m glad we were on the right side of history as far as the most “you’ll feel stupid regardless of the outcome” game of all time. The commercials were decent at best this year and unfortunately didn’t include enough doggos, which is strange when DogeCoin is the highest it’s ever been. I’m so happy I got to reconnect with some people over Super Bowl squares and appreciate everyone who participated. We learned a lot about some college hoops teams and Jose Canseco is the biggest con artist of all time. Let’s get into it.
The game: In no way shape or form is this on Mahomes, but I’m about to go on a rant about the Chiefs and Mahomes’s “GOAT” status. Let me be the first to congratulate Tom Brady on being the first quarterback to have more Super Bowl rings than any other franchise in the league. I was asking some people what their first Super Bowl memories were, and the first Super Bowl the Patriots won against “The Greatest Show on Turf” was overwhelmingly the favorite. The fact the dude is still doing it at the age of 43 is incredible.
Everyone needs to slow their roll on crowning Patrick Mahomes the next GOAT and giving the next 12 Super Bowls to the Chiefs. I think we caught a glimpse of what will happen to this team in a few years when the salary cap eventually catches up to them because the NFL is not built for dynasties. We should appreciate greatness when we see it, give Bill Belichick, Andy Reid and Tom Brady their due, but eventually father time catches up to everyone. Not saying the Chiefs won’t be back next year, but with the massive contract they gave to Mahomes they will be in a financial bind in the near future; and when that happens I believe we will see Andy Reid move on, Eric Beinemy take over as head coach and the Chiefs try to build a new dynasty. The Patriots look to be in a similar situation with Josh McDaniels where he will take over when Belichick retires.
Can John Elway please figure out that the best teams build a winning culture and hire from within rather than treating their coaching staff like a car dealership. How many times are we going to trade our terrible head coach in for the hottest defensive coordinator in the league? Sorry, went off on a tangent there, but we cashed that Bucs +3.5 ticket easy and cried about the under hitting again in the Super Bowl, but let’s take a look at our prop bets…
The fun bets: Hopefully the National Anthem over carried you in the rest of your prop bets because I take no accountability for being wrong on the coin toss, tails never fails and my insider was wrong about the heads side being heavier. Also didn’t tell you to hammer any Weeknd songs, so forgive me for getting that one wrong as well.
As far as the commercials, we saw Big Bird first in the Sesame Street/DoorDash Ad, but where were all the dogs this year? Maybe I was too busy eating buffalo chicken dip to realize there weren’t any puppies in commercials, but I feel like this should’ve been a slam dunk over 3.5 pups during a pandemic when everyone is looking for positivity. I was completely wrong on Eli appearing first in the Frito-Lay commercial, but luckily we hedged that by taking Jerry Rice making the paper football FG with a Dorito chip, classic. Marshawn Lynch is an absolute national treasure, and if you can’t appreciate his greatness you have a big dump in your pants. Hopefully we all took the OG yellow gatorade at +500 and used that money to soak up our tears because the over didn’t hit.
Squares: I want to thank everyone for participating in our squares this year. I hope you had as much fun as I did looking at the board to see who would be winning at the end of each quarter; it was fun texting with you guys and hoping for your squares to hit. Kyler and I had a blast live streaming for you guys on Instagram for the drawing, so thank you for watching that as well. Congratulations to the winners, you guys are awesome and deserve it!
Hoops: Wyoming got swept by those S.O.Bs down south, but of course CSU fans showed their true colors. Rumor has it some young fans were running their mouths and security had to step in. Doesn’t surprise me considering you can’t spell…you know what…without CSU. We’re a year away from seriously contending for the conference and the Rams going back to irrelevancy.
Alabama is better than I give them credit for after embarrassing LSU again; which in turn I have to tip my hat to Mizzou for proving themselves against Bama. I’m irate that Ole Miss beat Tennessee because we have another SEC team with a “tournament worthy” resume even though that conference is dog water.
In the B1G, I’m hamburgering the over in every single Iowa game and will hot dog my wins in doing so until the bookmakers ketchup. Illinois is one of the hottest teams in the country and looks like a final four team.
Everywhere else in the country: St. Louis looks like they will be a menace in the tournament this year. They might not get out of the round of 32, but they’ll upset at least one team. I still don’t know how many teams will make it out of the Pac-12–but I’m willing to bet under 5. Nobody in that conference stands out to me.
Other news: Jose Canseco fleeced the world into giving him 20k for a 3 second fight with a Barstool Sports intern. I love Billy Football, and he did land a punch, but Jose needs help. The NBA is playing basketball and the NHL is playing hockey. I think pitchers and catchers reported to Spring Training too?…maybe.
The Morning Flush 