What a HUGE day for the course and fans of the course yesterday. After Dustin Johnson posted a -20 in November, we knew it would be trickier this weekend; but dudes looked like they were putting on an ice rink Thursday. I’m getting worried in my pool that my fourth best golfer won’t even make the cut, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make if it means Augusta National earns its respect back. Let’s take a look at the leaders, middle of the pack contenders and some household names at risk of missing the cut.
Thursday Leaders
Justin Rose -7
Somehow, while everyone else was battling the course, the dude known for choking away the 2017 Masters to Sergio Garcia had the round of his life. He’s currently playing much more modestly, but hats off to him for putting an impressive opening round together.
Patrick Reed -2
Didn’t watch a second of his round and will do everything in my power to keep it that way. I’m glad we have a true villain in golf to give me someone to hate. The one redeeming quality is his ability to talk shit to himself after he hits a bad shot, very relatable.
Jordan Spieth -2
I don’t know if there’s a single person in my pool who didn’t pick Spieth from the third tier of golfers. The fact he was there right after winning a tournament and coming to a course he’s had so much success at is a joke itself. Spieth did his best to chip one into the water on 15, but luckily there was a hole in his way to give him a lucky eagle. People forget, sometimes that’s what you need to win this tournament…
Middle of the pack
Kevin Kisner Even
Kis’ back 9 was incredible to watch. After a birdie on 10, he doubles the next whole and bogeys the next before sticking one 15 feet from the cup and burying the putt. He proceed to bogey 16 and birdie 17 to come out with an even par in a gritty performance.
Justin Thomas +1
Everyone struggled, Justin got lucky a few times and looked good on the back 9. I’m sure he’ll be up with the leaders by the end of this thing.
Brooks Koepka +2
I love Brooks and will root for him in every tournament he is in, but I kept him out of my pool because of the knee injury. He had a gritty performance yesterday and didn’t play terrible in relation to the rest of the field. You can tell he’s having troubles squatting down behind the ball to get his reads, but that’s not the worst thing in the world for a guy who loses track of what hole he’s on while playing.
Dustin Johnson +2
Defending Masters champ Dustin Johnson had a very respectably average round going until the 18th (one of my favorite holes) saw him shank a drive into the woods, an approach shot amongst the patrons before chipping onto the green and 3-putting for a double. He’ll be back and sniffing around the top-10 in no time.
The Ugly
Phil Mickelson +3
I’m cheating a bit because I can see is second round, and let’s just say the negative momentum from his back 9 has carried over into the start of his round today. Phil came into this tournament full of energy, man boobs bouncing in the wind after birdieing the second hole yesterday, but he looks dejected today. However, shout out to him for being a big fan of the course and talking about how this is the way Augusta is supposed to play during his interview yesterday.
Cry-son Decham-blow +4
Patrick Reed is the true villain in golf whereas this dude is a wannabe villain. I’m sure he had his long drive celebration all lined up yesterday until his first one landed amongst the trees. He managed just one birdie throughout this round and looked down in the dumps throughout the day. No sympathy here.
Rory McIlroy +4
This dude can also kick rocks for all I’m concerned. He can try to walk back his remarks about alcohol sales from 2018 all he wants, but in my brain he’s still a whiney, fragile human. If he ever wins the Masters I’ll take back my remarks, but watch him miss the cut.
We’ve already seen a hole-in-one from Tommy Fleetwood and several eagles throughout the first round despite the tough conditions. I can’t wait to watch Rory get cut and everyone position themselves for moving day. Love you, bye.
The Morning Flush 