I’ve gleamed the tape, talked to insiders and ate as many pumpkin pies as I could to channel my inner Mel Kiper, but here is my masterpiece. If you missed my big board posts the last two days: we broke down the best players on offense and defense in this year’s draft. Please, give my twitter @morning_flush a follow, we’ll go over my favorite prop bets for draft night. Enough of the bullshit, let’s get into it.
Jacksonville Jaguars: QB Trevor Lawrence- Clemson
No brainer, the Jets are officially on the clock. On a side note, do you really want your business associated with a man with terrible ethics, a thirst for power and coincidental migraines when things don’t go his way, Shad Khan? At least you have your quarterback for the next 15 years, even if your coach quits after 1 year and a half because he’s a bum.
New York Jets: QB Zach Wilson-BYU
I still think Justin Fields is the second best quarterback, I don’t care how magnificent of a throw Zach Wilson had in his mormon pajamas. Whatever, it’s a blessing for Justin Fields that he’s not going to this dumpster fire of a franchise.
San Francisco 49ers: QB Mac Jones-Alabama
Everything coming from every stooge gasbag’s mouth is saying how much Kyle Shannahan loves Mac Jones. We might be getting smoke screened into believing this, but what Kyle Shannahan wants, Kyle Shannahan gets. I’m not sold on Mac Jones as being a starter (we’re knocking Kyle Trask for his weapons, but not Mac Jones?!?!), but you could plug anyone into a Shannahan offense and he’ll do great.
Atlanta Falcons: TE Kyle Pitts-Florida
The Falcons really need an Edge rusher, so they could trade back to a team like Denver to ensure they still get Kwity Paye, but you really think a former Tight Ends coach is going to pass up a generational talent at tight end? The Falcons still need to clear up some cap space, but clearly the talent is there for them to make a run at the playoffs this year (I feel like we’ve said that every year since the historical choke job though). I love this pick, maybe Matt Ryan will quietly throw for a billion yards again this year.
Cincinnati Bengals: OT Penei Sewell-Oregon
What the Bengals have done to AJ Green’s career should be illegal and I’ll be damned if they do the same to our sweet prince Joe Burrow. Draft as many offensive linemen as you possibly can, PLEASE. Sewell opted out of 2020, so if you don’t know who he is, don’t worry you’re in the majority. All you need to know is he is a monster who will protect the face of the franchise for the rest of his career, so please don’t mess this up Zach Taylor.
Miami Dolphins: WR DeVonta Smith-Alabama
After trading out, then back into the top-10, the Dolphins will still have the pick of the litter between DeVonta Smith, Jaylen Waddle and Ja’Marr Chase. The Bengals might snatch him up before, but it’d be very Cincinnati of them to not pick a franchise Left Tackle to protect Joe Burrow. Also, who gives a shit how small Devonta Smith is? It’s impossible to play defense with the rule changes, which benefits guys like him.
Baltimore Ravens (from Lions): WR: Ja’Marr Chase- LSU
The first blockbuster trade of the night involves the Ravens shipping both of their late first round picks and next year’s second for arguably the best wide receiver in the draft. Trading up to this spot allows the first 3 teams to take their quarterbacks while still giving them an opportunity at the top-4 pass catchers.
8. 
Washington doesn’t have a ton of draft capital, so they’ll have to leverage a ton of future draft picks to move up to this spot, but Riverboat Ron don’t give a shit. He’s got his quarterback of the future and the greatest stop-gap quarterback of all time in Fitzmagic.
New England Patriots (from Denver Broncos): QB Justin Fields-Ohio State
After years of stock-piling middle round picks from trading back, Bill Belichick trades up to get Justin Fields. In my non-expert opinion, Justin Fields is the second best quarterback in this draft (I go off the tape and what you did, not these bullshit pro days where QBs are throwing to open grass), so the Patriots are getting great value here. They might have to trade up sooner to get this (think Panthers or Falcons), but they’re in a good spot to get one of the top 5 guys here.
Dallas Cowboys: OT Christian Darrisaw-VT
Mike McCarthy and his garbage brains were 4-10 in games he didn’t smash watermelons, leaving the opaque Gallagher one watermelon game short of the playoffs. The Cowboys’ offensive line desperately needs help and Darrisaw looked great against ACC competition….making it the smart pick; however, we all know this pick 100% depends on how much Johnny Walker Blue Jerry Jones drinks on draft night. I can see him with Mike McCarthy in the war room now, “To hell with it fat boy, let’s go get Ja’Marr Chase from LSU…YEE YEE!”…I could also see them getting Patrick Surtain…
New York Giants: EDGE Kwity Paye- Michigan
The Giants actually look like they’re trying to build around Daniel Jones rather than punting on Eli Manning 2.0. I love the acquisition of Kenny Golladay, and I could see them going after a versatile O-lineman such as Elijah Vera-Tucker as well, but I like the move to get an Edge rusher to free up their great interior defensive line. Paye is going to be a problem for shitty NFC East offensive lines and might put up DROY numbers in that joke of a division. The edge rusher position is thin this year, but the Giants got a good one.
Philadelphia Eagles: WR Jaylen Waddle-Alabama
The Eagles completely blew up their roster just 3 years after winning a Superbowl. They finally started reading my tweets and got rid of spineless Doug Pederson, just to replace him with a rambling stooge who was the offensive coordinator for Doug Pederson’s ex-offensive coordinator. I love Jaylen Waddle and he easily could’ve won the heisman if he hadn’t broken his ankle. He may not be as versatile as DeVonta Smith, but he will be a great weapon for Jaylen Hurts.
LA Chargers: OT Rashawn Slater-Northwestern
I’ve seen some mock drafts with him as high as number five, so the Chargers are getting great value and are fixing a GAPING hole at Left Tackle. He didn’t play in 2020, so he slid a bit in my draft, but mostly because of the 5 quarterbacks and 4 pass catchers ahead of him.
Minnesota Vikings: EDGE Gregory Rousseau-Miami
There’s no question Minnesota’s defense stunk last year, they were one of my favorite teams to hammer the over. They added a tank with Dalvin Tomlinson from the Giants to beef up their interior, but they were dead last in just about every single pass rush category last year. This team lost a ton of defensive talent last offseason and are still trying to recover. Rousseau is a guy who can get that anemic defense off the field on third down.
Denver Broncos(from NE Patriots): RB Najee Harris- Alabama
After a run on Quarterbacks and seeing Michah Parsons picked ahead of them, the Broncos trade back and acquire assets. They went into this season in desperate need of a Cornerback, but after the acquisitions of Ronald Darby and Kyle Fuller, the secondary suddenly looks great. I still love Bryce Callahan who is a great third option and Michael Ojemudia showed flashes in the pan as well. We could still go after a RT in this draft, but I love going with a splash pick and adding MORE weapons to what can be an explosive offense if Drew Lock (or Teddy-two gloves!!) figures it out.
Arizona Cardinals: CB Caleb Farley- Virginia Tech
This is an absolute steal in a draft class loaded with CB talent. I was hoping for him to fall to the Broncos before they upgraded their secondary, but he will be a nice replacement to the dearly departed Patrick Peterson. Hopefully doo doo brains Kingsbury doesn’t screw this one up.
Las Vegas Raiders: IOL Elijah Vera-Tucker-USC
Everytime I see the Raiders on the clock in the First Round I expect a WR to come off the board. If they’re smart, they’ll look to upgrade their average to below-average trenches on both sides of the ball. I’ll go with versatile OL Elijah Vera-Tucker knowing damn well Gruden is going speed in the first round (maybe Rashod Bateman??).
After going with a playmaker in the top-10 and the Broncos spoiling their Najee Harris plans, the Dolphins find themselves in a good situation to take an ancillary need or trade back (again). I’m a fan of trading back, but I’m not sure if Brian Flores can help himself. Although he’s a bit undersized, he’s got a high motor and all of the skills you look for in an edge rusher.
19. 
All the stooge gasbags will probably say Micah Parsons’ “character issues” caused him to fall, but the Panthers made this move because they knew they could either still get him later or get Jeremiah Owusu-Koramoah. The Broncos could certainly pick him up at 15 (or the Raiders at 17), but there are not a lot of LB hungry teams between 8 and 19.
Chicago Bears: OT Teven Jenkins-Oklahoma State
After signing their franchise Quarterback Andy Dalton, the Bears are set to make a championship run. All they need is some offensive line help… This is clearly not a sexy pick, but the Bears haven’t done anything sexy all offseason. I would like to see them take a receiver such as Rashod Bateman or grab one of these great Corners in this year’s draft, but no matter what, Ryan Pace and Matt Nagy will make the wrong choice. Maybe they’ll leverage the entire future of the franchise for one of these top-5 quarterbacks because they won’t be there after this year?
Indianapolis Colts: WR Rashod Bateman-Minnesota
Indianapolis already has some firepower with Jonathon Taylor and T.Y. Hilton, but with the Chiefs in the AFC, I expect teams to start an arms race by adding as many weapons as possible. I’m interested to see how teams will grade guys who sat out 2020, but Bateman was an absolute monster for the Gophers his first 2 years with the team with over 110 receptions, over 1900 yards and 17 tds along with second team All-American honors and a Biletnikoff semi-finalist. Now that Carson Wentz is away from that stooge Doug Pederson we’ll see a renaissance to his career with a ton of weapons and a location he feels more comfortable in.
Tennessee Titans: CB Patrick Surtain II-Alabama
How the fuck did I have Patrick Surtain falling this far in the draft… If he does, Tennessee better be kissing the ass of every dip shit GM who passed on this dude, because this is a steal. I think we will see a run on Corners to close out the first round and this would be a perfect situation for both parties. Vrabel will purt-near choke on his horseshoe dip spit if this comes to fruition.
One of the perks of having a need at literally every position on your roster is the ability to pick the best available player in the draft. Robert Saleh appeased the franchise and their fanbase by getting their quarterback of the future, but he’ll be fired up to get a corner to replace Blessuan Austin or whoever the hell is on that roster.
Pittsburgh Steelers: OT Liam Eichenburg-Notre Dame
Since Big Ben has decided to selfishly return instead of ride off into the sunset, the Steelers need to look to keep him out of his walking boot for as long as possible. I’m not saying Big Ben is out here faking injuries, but when is he not on the injury report? Hopefully adding some depth up front will help him actually stay healthy and protect whoever the future QB will be.
The Jags are in a similar position to the Jets where you can throw a dart at their depth chart and there will be a need. After losing Yannick Ngakoue in free agency, the Jaguars need another competent edge rusher opposite of Josh Allen.
Cleveland Browns: LB Jeremiah Owusu-Koramoah- Notre Dame
Don’t ask me to say his name, but he’ll help fill a void in the Browns’ defense. They’re getting arguably the best cover linebacker in the league (yes, the league, not the draft) and a freak athlete at the end of the first round. This is roadside robbery if he falls to the Browns.
Detroit Lions: LB Jamin Davis-Kentucky
This is a bit of a reach, but do you really think Motor City Dan-the-man Campbell is gonna go with a glamour pick his first year with the Lions? He’s gonna go get a dude like Jamin Davis to go bite some kneecaps off. He’s a freak athlete who ran a sub 4.4 with great tape from his senior year and maybe the most underrated player in this draft, I love this fit.
New Orleans Saints: CB Asante Samuel Jr. -FSU
It makes me feel old as shit seeing Jr next to these names I recognized from my childhood. The Saints desperately need help at corner after losing Janoris Jenkins from the salary cap hell they put themselves into. There are several Corner hungry teams behind them who may trade up, but they’d be very fortunate to have Asante Samuel fall to them.
Green Bay Packers: CB Greg Newsome II-Northwestern
What the fuck’s the difference between someone being the second and someone being junior? These generational names confuse the shit out of me and if someone could explain it to me like I’m 5, that’d be great. The Packers find themselves with holes in key spots such as receiver (every year), O-line and corner, but the memory of Scott “Scooty” Miller burning Kevin King like granddaddy’s toast is scorched into my brain. It’s Rahim Moore-esque (sorry fellow Broncos fans) and great receivers don’t win you Superbowls, but bolstering that defense might get the Packers close.
Buffalo Bills: DT Christian Barmore-Alabama
The Bills run defense stunk last year, so here’s a big body to fill some holes. Need anything more? The guy also was the highest graded pass rusher from the interior according to Pro Football Focus. He’s far and away the best interior defensive lineman and may very well be long gone by this pick…but a guy can dream. Circle the wagons.
What a name for an offensive tackle/guard. When this dude popped out of the womb, his daddy’s eyes lit up because he knew he had an NFL lineman in his hands. Leatherwood (lol) has some pretty slow feet and has the tendency of getting cornered, so I think he’ll play more Right Tackle, but Motor City Dan-the-man Campbell has a dude he can rely on and fills a big-time need on the offensive line.
Tompa Brady Gronkaneers: QB Kyle Trask-Florida
It’s actually ridonkulous how talented this roster still is and how ready they are to repeat as champs. After the funnest Superbowl parade in the history of parades, Tom Brady has a great chance to throw back some AvOcAdooo TeKilAaa again…and repeat…again. This allows the front office to look toward the future and take a chance on a dude who was projected as a top-3 quarterback heading into the season. Everyone is knocking him for his bowl game performance, but his top 2 targets, Tuney and Pitts, opted out a week before the game. He’s talented and athletic and deserves more of a shot than Trey Lance if you ask me. You can’t knock him for the talent he had around him and not do the same to Mac Jones.
The Morning Flush 