Morbid Monday

The worst part of the season in upon us: the offseason, but what a great time to sit back and reflect on what was a wire-to-wire great game with an electric halftime performance and ehhhhh commercials.

The Pregame

I watched the Waste Management open rather than most of the talking heads, but I hammered the over in the national anthem, and sweated that bet out. We were 30 seconds under the total going into the last “oh say does that Star Spangled”…but luckily Mickey Guyton let it loose the last two lines. After cashing that bet, I immediately had to let it ride on tails…which is starting to bite me in the ass.

The Game

Luckily, we were able to hit on the OBJ anytime TD before he exited with an ACL injury (not predicting the injury like you wannabe doctor losers). As we expected, Cam Akers stunk, but they refused to give Michel or Henderson more run, which screwed over our total touches for them. Joe Mixon got plenty of targets, but nowhere near the 23.5 receiving yards we needed. Overall, we were about even on game props, but hopefully you hammered Rams moneyline and the under. Those cruised for us.

All bets aside, I was impressed with both defensive coordinator’s gameplans to slow down Cooper Kupp and Ja’Marr Chase…until the last two drives. They did such a good job doubling those two and using their best corner on the secondary options. Granted, Jalen Ramsey still got cooked all game, but I’d die on that hill rather than letting Ja’Marr Chase go off. Similarly, Eli apple looked like he was in for a long night with OBJ before the unfortunate knee injury, and still gave up a few plays to Van Jefferson. It’s a classic Bill Belichick strategy to take away your 2 best options, and the Bengals’ third option, Tyler Boyd, had a huge drop that could’ve helped salt the game away. As a Bengals fan, you can complain about the questionable holding penalty on Logan Wilson (Go Pokes), but the very next play was an egregious holding penalty in the corner of the endzone AND you got away with Offensive PI when Tee Higgins threw Jalen Ramsey by the facemask. I’d call it even. The Bengals’ protection problems reared its ugly head in the 4th quarter of this game, so hang your hat on knowing you’re a couple pieces on the OLine away from making another legitimate run Bengals fans.

Halftime

I’m pretty pissed they played California Love second…with the Big Game in LA and a team from LA in the game, this seemed like a Slam Dunk…a man in the suit would’ve smelled out this rat line, however, I am not that man. All prop bets aside, that has to be top 5 best halftime shows in Super Bowl history, right?

Post Game

For you scoundrels who could find a sports book to bet on, Cooper Kupp thanked his teammates first, so cash that ticket at whatever offshore service you use. I was able to sprinkle the “yes” on a proposal which hit thanks to Taylor Rapp. A nice 4 unit boost for betting on love.

I hope you all soaked in every minute of these playoffs like I told you to. We’re 194 days away from Week 0 in college football with no baseball in sight. On the bright side, Mock Drafts are coming up, love you, bye.