After a click bait headline–here’s a haiku to describe my feelings for Rockies opening day baseball:
I hate the Rockies
And I’m ready to be hurt
So fuck it, play ball
-Shagen
I joke, this won’t be a 1,000 character article about how we’ll be the worst team in baseball. Between the Tik-Tok, wiggle dick culture and our shitty political cliamte, our nationalistic pride has taken a nosedive, and the recent news around basketball, baseball and football the last few weeks have me concerned.
Basketball
Let’s start with the NCAA tournament. No excuses for being away from the blog, but I’m still getting over my sunburn and too many Bahama Mamas on the beach (First world problems). We’ve had an electric tournament with UConn and 3 teams who have never won a national championship, and for some fucking reason the media is talking about how this is projected to be the lowest ratings for a Final Four (fuck you, Athletic and CBS Sports Chairman, Sean McManus). Seriously, the chairman of the broadcasting company showcasing the tournament came out and said ratings will be lower. Sure, he’s saying what we’re all thinking, but you know what won’t help ratings? Talking about how the product you’re putting on television is inferior to years past. Instead of demeaning schools like Florida Atlantic and San Diego State, highlight the polarity in the sport. In a world where everyone bitches because they’re tired of seeing Alabama, Georgia and Clemson in the national championship, we’re complaining because all the “blue bloods” are out of the tournament. Also, blame the committee for putting FAU, who was at one point 19th in the country and 22-1, a 9 seed. The Conference-USA is about to have a CBI champion, NIT champion and a team in the Final Four, proving their conference was much better than whatever bullshit algorithm they used. Saying our amateur athletes aren’t a big enough draw just because they were underseeded by a bunch of ignorant old white dudes ain’t the ‘Merican way, Sean.
Football
Where to start. Maybe with the owners coming together after the Desean Watson deal and openly saying they don’t want the NFL to become the NBA with fully guaranteed contracts, thus fucking over Lamar Jackson. Seriously, think about the next crop of quarterbacks with contracts coming up like Joe Burrow and Justin Herbert. You think they won’t get guaranteed money if they demand it? In the long run the Ravens are going to look like assholes because, inevitably, an owner is going to say “fuck you” to the rest of the owners and back the Brinks truck up for Lamar while Burrow and Herbert get paid afterward. This might actually be the best connection to American nationalism because what’s more American than billionaires refusing to pay people for what they’re worth?
On another note, the NFL is trying to make a change to the schedule where Thursday night football games will be flexed. Imagine you’re a parent with a kid who loves the 49ers, and you’ve been saving for months for travel, hotel rooms and a tickets to go see their favorite team in the most expensive state in the country. The game is at 2:00 on a Sunday, so no big deal, you’ll take part of Friday off and maybe part of Monday, so it won’t mess your work schedule up too much either. However, after a hot 8-0 start, the Niners are set to take on a 6-2 Rams team, so Rodger Goodell pulls his clown shit and flexes the game to Thursday night. Bullshit. The Thursday Night Football games have already been a joke in their short existence. Go back to Sundays, Mondays (Saturdays after college) and 1 Turkey day special, and stop screwing over the American people.
Baseball
Throughout the World Baseball Classic there were people online talking about how nobody in the United States cares about the tournament, so why should we send our MLB stars to play and potentially get hurt? They were met with some of the harshest backlash from baseball traditionalists, the ultimate keyboard warriors. Clearly, players around the globe, particularly foreign MLB players, cared a lot about this tournament, but the United States starting pitching was a joke. I understand, without quality pitching a team is nothing (right fellow Rockies fans?) and to lose a starter or your closer before the season even starts would be horrific…but these dudes are still pitching during Spring Training, so why does it matter. If we have 7 of the best starters and closers around the league willing to compete, we could still put them on a pansy pitch count to where they’re not gassed before the season starts and we can still dominate the world. Hand up, I need to be better about watching the US when we’re in global events, but we need our best talent to want to play and encouraged to play when their country is on display. The tournament also showed how stuffy baseball fans in the US really are. Other countries treated games like parties–blaring music, chugging beers while singing some song about how their shortstop has a stronger arm than yours. US fans look like we’re watching cricket or attending church in comparison. Make Baseball Fun Again.
Happy opening day. Nothing is better than a fresh slate and a new season to look forward to….If you’re not a Rockies fan.
The Morning Flush 